TODDLER DEVELOPMENT

Toddler Development

Development: 1 to 2 Years

The time between one and two is one of rapid change. Your baby is on the move and discovering the world. Caregiving becomes demanding in a different way because you have to think about safety and setting limits as well as caring for your baby. Some miss their tiny baby and others are pleased that their baby has a little more independence.

Social and Emotional Development

It is in the course of this year that your toddler understands that he is a completely separate person from you. This not only causes him to worry about the possibility of you leaving him, but also causes the much repeated words "me" and "mine." The whole notion of owning something needs first to have a self to own it. Having his "own" way or declaring an object "mine" is, by repetition, a way of coming to grips with this exciting and rather frightening new idea. It is hard to understand what something is unless you also know what it is not, so your toddler may also be into opposites - probably mostly the opposite of whatever you are suggesting at the time!

Although they can often understand many words, children in their second year cannot grasp abstract concepts - they are strictly concrete thinkers. They often do not respond to spoken commands and need to be lifted down, moved away, distracted from and picked up very often indeed. (Even though they seem to understand "no" they are unable yet to control their impulses, so they will still do the forbidden.) Taking care of an 18 month old is physically as demanding as a strenuous course at the gym.

The child will be curious and energetic, but he depends on an adult's presence for reassurance and needs a lot of adult attention.
The child is very attached to and dependent on parents and likely to be afraid of separation because he does not yet fully understand that you will come back.
He enjoys playing with an adult and likes repetitive games.
He shows interest in other children, but usually plays alone. He has no idea of sharing at this age and cannot be expected to share.
He will imitate actions and games of others, i.e. talking on a toy telephone.
He may be more cooperative in dressing because of a desire to imitate adults and "do it myself".
He may want to "get it right" and experience unbearable frustration if he can't achieve mastery over a task.
His ability to feed himself is slowly improving and he is likely to be choosy about what he eats.

Developing Understanding

In the second year babies still have no ability to see the world in any perspective. They are learning about individual objects from ground level. Concepts of time and distance, "too fast, too slow, too far" are all beyond their grasp, often to the despair of parents for whom these concepts are painfully real!

They are, however, working hard on their categories, sorting objects they see into understandable groups. Consequently, having seen and remembered a duck, they are likely to say "duck" when they first see a chicken because they both have feathers and wings. It's truly wonderful to see what powers of observation they bring to this task of organizing the objects, characters and animals they come across in their world.

The child's ability to remember is improving and may show at times being able to think before she acts, i.e. remembering that something is hot.
Between 18 months and 2 years of age her ability to recognize similarities and differences in things increases and she will be interested in sorting things into groups, i.e. cars, blocks, animals.
The child also begins to work out what things belong together, i.e. picking out Daddy's shoes, putting the crayons with the paper.
The child will begin to try matching and fitting and will be able to complete some simple puzzles, i.e. shapes or familiar animals.
She will remember and copy past events.
She will enjoy simple make believe play, i.e. talking on the telephone.
She has very little understanding of time and can't understand what tomorrow means. She doesn't grasp abstract words such as pretty, empty, heavy, and she cannot talk about things that she cannot see, pick up or touch.
She has no real understanding of size and space and may be frightened of falling down a drain in the bathtub.

Physical Skills

The child's rapidly increasing movement in this year can mean a major reorganization of the house! They go from crawling or teetering within a limited space to walking confidently and exploring widely, pulling open every handle and twiddling every knob they can see. If you want peace you may find it best to put the stereo, good china and dangerous things up high leaving interesting unbreakables on bottom shelves. It is not good for you or your toddler if you are having to say "no" or "don't touch" every two minutes.

By 15 months the child is able to walk alone with two feet wide apart and arms held high to maintain balance.
By 2 years of age your child will probably be able to run, without bumping into things, and stop when necessary.
At 15 months he gets to his feet using his hands to push up with and by 2 years can get up without using his hands.
By 2 years most children can go down stairs while holding on, but will put two feet on each step before moving to the next one.
One year olds can push themselves along, "scooting along" on a four wheeled riding toy.
By 2 the child will be interested in and capable of turning knobs and pushing buttons.

Language Development

Language in the second year is a mirror of children's development in other ways. They quickly start to name more objects and their uses that they see in the world, although they will often want you to express what is in their head and too hard for them to say, like "I want the green cup for my juice." And while the number of words they know increases hugely in the course of the year, they often get very frustrated because they can't say as much as they want to - or because you don't understand what they are saying. Talk to them a lot and repeat what they have said in your replies to them, describing things you see together in simple terms, i.e. "Yes, look at the big bus!"

The child's speech increases from an average of 10 words at 15 months to as many as 100 or more between 18 months and 2 years. Their understanding of words is even greater.
ants with words, i.e. "outside," "milk," "cracker" even though many words will not always be pronounced correctly.
By 2 years sentences become longer and more accurate, i.e. from "more" to "want more" and then "I want more."
The child's language understanding is also improving so she can remember two things at a time, i.e. "Get the ball and bring it to Daddy."
Besides words to say what they want, children at this age have begun to learn some words to say how they feel, i.e. feelings of happiness "goo" or hurting themselves "ow," "sore" or a word for wanting a band-aid.
By 2 years the child will have enough language skills to be able to tell people what she wants them to do, i.e. "no" or "go away."
She may stammer or hesitate over particular words or when excited.

What you can do

The child will love to turn knobs and push buttons as this helps him to learn to use his muscles and also to feel that he can manage new things. Protect the TV, etc. and give him his own toys with knobs and buttons to press.
The child will be interested in playing with simple puzzles. (Best to borrow some from a toy library rather than buy them because children often lose interest once they can do the puzzle.)
The child will enjoy toys that link together such as trains with carriages and stacking toys, hammer and peg sets, and filling and emptying containers.
The child will love to look at pictures, particularly if you name familiar objects and animals to him and allow him to turn the pages sometimes.
Favorite conversations are telling a child the name of an object and then saying "What's that?" Use favorite questions like "What does the dog say?"
Play games where the child has lots of opportunities to say "No" i.e. "Is daddy under the bed?"
Provide toys, i.e. fruit, animals, cars so your child can learn about "different" and "same."
Young children love to copy others and to dress up, and play with toys that allow them to copy household activities, i.e. telephone, dolls, washing up.
Allow the child to play by himself at times without interference so that he learns to entertain himself. He will ask for help if he wants it.

What to watch out for:

If by two years:

the child is tripping over his feet a lot and this is not improving
the child cannot walk
she cannot hold a spoon and get most of the food in her mouth
she cannot pick up small objects
the child cannot build a tower of 3 to 4 blocks
she does not say a few single words
she does not understand simple directions (This does not mean she will always do what you tell her to.)
she often runs very far away (out of sight) or climbs extremely high without hesitation

Toileting

Many parents will want to start "toilet training" their child towards the end of the second year as their child will usually be showing awareness of their bowel movements. Most children will "train" themselves when they are ready, with some simple encouragement from their parents, and this can happen any time between about 2 years and 3 1/2 years, but it usually does not happen before children are 2 years old.

As two year olds are keen to be able to boss themselves and "get it right" they can get very worried and frightened about not managing their own toileting properly. If you find tensions arising around toileting issues, get help from a health professional early.

There may be a problem if, by 18 months a child:

does not show a preference for familiar people
does not show separation anxiety
is not yet walking
is not babbling often
is not starting to use some meaningful words
does not listen when others are talking to him

There may be a problem if, by 2 years, a child:

does not show awareness of different people
is not walking steadily, especially if the child has a limp
is still mostly silent while playing
does not respond when others talk to her
is not able to point to objects when they are named
uses signs, grunts, or gestures only when she wants something

DEVELOPMENT: 2 TO 3 YEARS

Toddlers between two and three really want to find out about themselves and what they want and don't want. Because they are beginning to talk in sentences, and sometimes say things in a big and definite voice, we can be tricked into thinking that our toddlers are more grown up than they really are. The most important thing to remember about the children at this age is that they are still babies.

They can wait a little while but not for long. They can hold their strong feelings inside a little bit, but their feelings can easily burst out in a rush of excitement, fear and frustration. Losing control of such big feelings can be very frightening for them and they need lots of physical contact and reassurance that they are loved.

Social and Emotional Development

Two year olds are learning about relationships. They are sometimes able to imagine how other people feel, but most of the time their own feelings of jealousy and loving passion for the people in their family are so strong that they don't have room for imagining other people's feelings. They are starting to try and keep their feeling inside and can feel very bad if they think they have done a wrong thing.

They can often play together for short periods, but easily get upset and cross with each other.

A 2 year old is still learning to see himself as a separate person and therefore often wants to say "No." He knows what he wants and may appear quite bossy and become cross when he cannot do something or is stopped from doing something, because he hasn't really learned to manage feelings yet. As a result, temper tantrums are quite common in this age group.
A 2-3 year old may play with other children for a short while, but he cannot share. He acts in response to what he wants and may grab and push.
A 2-3 year old finds it hard to wait or make a choice.
A 2-3 year old cannot yet understand reason or control his impulses - he may know what you want him to do, but he can't yet make himself do it if he wants to do something else.
The child loves to copy what adults do and the way you look, i.e. making houses out of boxes and rugs, dressing up, digging in the garden.

Developing Understand

The world is a big and complicated place, and between 2 and 3 children are trying to understand the 'rules' and how it all makes sense. Because they are only in a position to see a little bit of how it works, they fill in the rest with their imagination, so their understanding of the world around them is a mixture of 'real' and imagined. They will be greatly helped by simple explanations of things, often in response to their questions why.

Be careful about your adult talk around your toddler. Their understanding of words is beyond their understanding of the world and overhearing adult conversations about relationships, themselves or people they know can be easily misunderstood and can be very worrying for them. It is important to introduce the world to them in bits that they can cope with.

A 2 year old does not know that her mind is separate from those of other people. She thinks that her parents know what she is thinking. At 3 years of age she will have more of an understanding of herself as a separate person.
2 year olds have difficulty with reality and may blame the path if they fall over, or believe a vase fell because it wanted to.
The child does not understand the difference between things that are alive and can think, and things that are not, i.e. she may think of the sun and the moon and the wind in the same way that she thinks about people and pets.
2 year olds don't yet understand that all of their body belongs to them, so may be frightened of losing part of themselves when they see broken bodies, i.e. on TV.
A 2 year old has little understanding of what is real and what is not real, i.e. on TV programs.
Before 2 or 3, children think in "black and white" i.e., they think of themselves as good or bad, not as a child who is sometimes good in some ways and sometimes bad in others.
3 year olds have difficulty in seeing a situation from others' point of view - this is not selfishness, it is because they still think that everyone thinks and feels the same as they do.
The child will enjoy some make believe play and be able to play out little stories, i.e. bathe the doll, then feed it and put it to bed.
Three year olds can usually do some scribbling, lots of lines, dots and circles, but not yet a picture.

Physical Skills

Your child is much more confident now with his physical abilities, but he doesn't have a very good idea about "when to stop." Some toddlers are shy and careful, but it is common for them at this stage to test the limits. They love to run (often in the opposite direction from you), swing and climb and ride on toys they can push with their feet (They can not manage pedals yet.), but they can easily get it wrong and bumps and minor falls are common. Don't let them run too far or climb too high without bringing them back. They need to know that you know the limits of what is safe even if they don't! They cannot keep themselves safe even if they can say what they can, or cannot do.

You can help them develop their skills by providing chances for them to play on safe equipment, in sandpits and parks. As they can't be left to play unsupervised but have lots of energy, it can be very damaging and tiring helping your 2-3 year old develop his physical skills.

Between 2 to 3 years:

Children will learn how to climb up stairs, and down them, learn to kick a ball (but not usually in the 'right' direction), start to be able to jump off a step.
They can start being able to get undressed and can often start to be able to get some clothes back on.

Language Development

The toddler's language is probably developing very quickly between two and three. You start to get some idea of what is going on in the child's world inside her head. You are two separate people who are beginning to communicate through a conversation and this can be very exciting. Often her words or sentences don't make sense to you, but clearly the more she is successful in getting her message across the more she will want to communicate with you.

Try to watch your own use of language, particularly the use of negative words like "no" and "don't," as it will have a powerful effect on your toddler's view of herself and the world. You don't want to paint a picture of a world where nothing is allowed but rather a positive picture where many things are possible. So, in guiding behavior, try to suggest alternatives and explain dangers as simply as you can. You will know the words you use most to them and whether those are positive or negative words because those are the words you will hear most often when they are speaking to you!

By 2 many children are naming lots of things such as "dog," "ball," "drink" and by the end of this year most are saying short sentences (i.e. 'look mommy dog').
Around two, many children are able to follow an instruction such as "Bring your shoes here." and by 3 most children can follow more complex instructions such as "Go and get your shoes from your bedroom and bring them here."
They will still get "you" and "me" mixed up sometimes.
Most children of this age will not be able to say all of their words clearly. Some sounds are much harder to say than others.
If you are able to understand her, repeat what she said clearly, then answer her. She needs to hear her words clearly, but she will get cross if you try to make her say things clearly.

What You Can Do

Encourage your 2-3 year old in his attempt to explore the world while keeping a firm eye on what is safe for him. Remember that they are only little; offer them alternatives, talk about feelings and give them individual attention for some time every day. If we want them to believe that the world is a positive place to live in and they can live in it successfully, we need to create small opportunities for their success and notice when they achieve, no matter how small these achievements might be.

2 - 3 year olds love simple picture books with familiar things and simple stories. Read aloud to them and talk about the pictures. They usually want the same book over and over. This helps them to learn that some things stay the same.

Talk with the child and ask questions about what he is doing. Answer his questions. Show a real interest in what he is doing and saying and in this way you will help him to be confident about talking.
Play is important for the child's development as he learns to experiment, create new things and gain skills such as sharing and waiting.
The child will enjoy copying household tasks, i.e. using the telephone, sweeping, "playing house" and digging in the garden.
Provide toys for stacking, things for pulling apart, blocks, simple puzzles, toy cars, animals, dolls, etc.
He will begin to enjoy playground equipment, i.e. slides and sand boxes.
Encourage his skills in dressing, eating and washing himself.
The child may enjoy watching a suitable television program for his own age group and during this year may start to sing along with the TV, especially if you sing along too.
Music can help the child with rhythm and sounds.
Don't expect him to do all of the things you ask him to do, especially if he is doing something he enjoys.
He will need to have a warning that he will need to stop something he likes soon, but he will usually protest. Many children cry and shout when they have to leave a playground for example. This is normal for a child, and distressing for caregivers. Try to remember that he was having fun doing things with you, so don't stay away from playgrounds. They are fun and good places to learn skills such as climbing and running. Sometimes it helps to entice with something else interesting, i.e. we are going home to see daddy.

What to watch out for - Children by three usually can:

run fast and stop without falling over
name many objects and show they understand the words (either with words or by making sounds or using signs)
say many words that you can understand even if the words are not clear
be having less tantrums and being able to accept that they cannot have everything that they want
play imagination games, such as pushing cars around, giving you a "drink," playing with dolls or getting dressed up to be "mom" or "dad"

If the child cannot yet do these things check with a doctor or child health nurse.

Toilet Training

It is usually in this year that your child shows you that she is ready to use the toilet and finish using diapers. However, this is not always the case and some toddlers will still be clinging to their diapers at the end of this year or they may want to return to their diapers if a new baby has come into the family.

Try to walk with them at their own pace and encourage them to take responsibility for whatever they feel comfortable doing. For instance if they want to use their diaper to do a poo they might be happy to help you put it in the toilet, which is where it will always go one day. Children who are "fussy" and like to have things perfect are sometimes anxious about using the toilet in case it all "goes wrong."

If you do not make progress helping your child to learn about using the potty or toilet, stop for awhile until she is a bit older and try again. She may just not be old enough to manage. If you start to feel angry that she can't do what you want her to do and there is tension between you and the toddler over using the toilet, get help from a health professional because being tense, anxious or cross makes it harder for the child to accomplish the goal. Although it is a great relief to be finished with diapers - and for some of us that day can't come soon enough - we can promise you that it will definitely happen in its own time.

There may be a problem if, by 2 1/2 years, a child:

is having tantrums very often
does not play with adults or older children
cannot run smoothly, especially if the child has a limp
is not able to safely climb stairs or onto low furniture
is far more active or less active than other children of the same age
is not yet managing to feed himself most of the time
is not using words to let others know what they want
is not talking clearly enough for the primary caregiver to know what they want some of the time
seems to be in a 'world of his own,' not responding to the talk of others

There may be a problem if, by 3 years, a child:

is not playing imagination games (using toys the way they were meant to be used, i.e. pushing a car along a road rather than mostly focusing on the wheels)
is mostly 'in his own world' rather than interacting with others
is not able to run as smoothly as other children of the same age
is not climbing skillfully
is not using words to let others know what he wants
is not talking clearly enough for the primary caregiver to know what he wants most of the time

CHILD DEVELOPMENT: 3 - 4 YEARS

In the course of this year children are moving out of babyhood into childhood. They have rich imaginations, they may have strong fears, they love to play and they enjoy physical activity. They are beginning to be more comfortable spending some time away from their usual caregivers. Sometimes they are timid about trying new things.

Of course all three to four year olds are different and they may develop at different rates. If you are worried about a child's development, or if they can't do things that they used to do for more than a short time, it is important to see a doctor or child health nurse. If there is anything wrong, getting in early will help. Otherwise it is good to know that your child is developing normally in his own special way.

Social and Emotional Development

Your three year old is at the very beginning of learning how to get along with others. He can control his strong feelings somewhat better than he did at two, but he is still likely to have some tantrums. He starts to understand social skills like sharing and being kind, but he can only practice these skills for a short time when he is feeling safe and happy.

Three year olds often enjoy being with other children and they now begin to play together more. They are learning that other people are real and have feelings. This means they can be upset when other people are upset.
Taking turns is a skill that they will learn as they approach four, but if they are upset or worried they will not be able to share their own special things.
They are starting to be able to wait a short time for what they want, such as "We will go out after you eat your lunch."
Three year olds are less likely than 2 year olds to have kicking and screaming tantrums. They are eager to please you. With your help they might be able to try something else or wait for a few minutes.
The child may still have fears of noises, the dark, animals, monsters, etc.
Three year olds are developing a sense of humor and like to laugh at and repeat silly words and situations.
They will like to have choices, but they usually can cope best if the choice is limited such as "You can wear your red shoes or your blue ones."
They may still need a blanket or other comforter when tired or away from home.
They can have very stereotyped ideas of what 'boys' and 'girls' are like, i.e. girls wear pretty dresses and boys are like Superman.
They are starting to take responsibility for their own toileting.
They may have accidents (wet pants) during the day and be wet at night.

Developing Understanding

Their own inner world is very powerful for three to four year olds. Sometimes it is difficult for them to set out what is 'pretend' and what is 'real.' (For instance, whether witches really can put a spell on you or whether children can grow wings and fly like the pictures in their book.) Three year olds do not tell 'lies,' but sometimes the inside and outside really gets mixed up. She will love to talk to you about these important things. Never laugh at their confusions, and give them small amounts of simple information when explaining things.

A three year old:

can now understand that her mind is separate from those of her parents, and that they cannot read her mind
still does not really understand about things like height and size. She will think that a tall thin glass holds more than a short fat one, so there can be mistakes when pouring.
shows some understanding of time and understands that night follows day
understands the meaning of tall, short, big and little
can say whether they are boys and girls and can tell you whether other children are boys or girls, but they don't yet understand that their sex is permanent
can tell you how old she is
by the time she is four she may be able to draw a person. Her person will probably have a big round head, with eyes and maybe a mouth and straight out of the head will poke the legs.
a four year old can copy a cross and a square and can build a bridge with three blocks

Physical Development

In this year children delight in physical activity and will love to run, jump, climb, dance, ride their three-wheeled bikes and swing. They are not very good at pacing themselves and will get tired and cranky if they don't have some quiet activity between their bouts of energetic activity. Of course it is important that they can do these things safely and with supervision.

At 3 1/2 to 4 they sometimes lose co-ordination and confidence for a time.

They love to splash and play with water. Some three year olds are afraid of the pool or sea and others delight in swimming with an adult. (Always supervise children around water.)
Since balance is better, a 3 year old can walk along a plank.
3 year olds can use pedals on a tricycle.
3 year olds can roll and bounce a ball, but catching it is still quite difficult.
They can throw a ball using shoulders and elbow.
By 4 years a child can hold a pencil correctly.
They can button clothes.
Between 3 - 4 years old, children learn to cut with scissors.

Language

Three year olds are now talking in simple sentences and there is so much going on inside their heads that often it seems as though the words can't come out fast enough to describe it all. Three year olds often stutter and stumble when trying to express themselves. It can be exhausting to listen and explain things to your child, but exciting to be able to share in their rich imaginings. They will love to be read to and may want the same book over and over again.

Three year olds get across what they want to say in most situations.
Some 3 year olds speak very clearly, while others still use some 'baby talk.'
Some may stumble over words, but this will probably clear up by itself within the year.
The average 3 1/2 year old knows more than 1200 words.
Three year olds can usually understand "place" words such as - under, on, beside, back, over.
Three year olds ask questions beginning with "what," "who," "where," and "why."
They can talk about what happened yesterday and about tomorrow.

You can build on what your three year old says to you. Don't correct their unsuccessful efforts at words but respond positively with the correct word in your reply. Try to be patient. Ask them questions. Some children become such enthusiastic talkers that their constant "what" can be stressful. Most will respond to your request to have some "quiet time in my own head" - at least for a few minutes!

What To Watch Out For - When you should have a child checked by a health professional.

If you can't understand what they say most of the time.
If they are not using sentences of three or more words.
If they are not interested in using the toilet or they are frightened of using the toilet.
If they have big fears that go on for a long time.
If they can't jump with two feet in place.
If they don't seem to understand what you say to them.
If you are worried.

What You Can Do

Allow plenty of physical freedom, i.e. riding a tricycle and ball games. However, 3 and 4 year olds are too young for team or competitive games.
Allow them as much time as you can to 'get things right' or do it for themselves.
Give them plenty of warning before they have to finish any activity and pack up their toys, or get ready to leave the house.
Provide simple games with turns and rules so that the child can begin to learn cooperative games.
Children of this age enjoy rhythm and you can enourage this by providing music, songs and rhymes, allowing them to bang on lids and singing simple songs with them.
They love to paint and draw. Provide big pieces of paper and paints. Talk about the story that their drawing tells.
Provide picture books and story books that can be followed in the pictures and ask questions about the pictures.
Children may enjoy appropriate TV programs and also enjoy videos that do not go too fast and that can be repeated over and over.
Provide lots of love, fun, approval and encouragement and begin to set limits that you can and are prepared to enforce.

Toileting

Some children will be managing toileting at the beginning of their third year and others will not. If the child is a perfectionist by nature or 'fussy' about getting things right, he may take longer to develop confidence in managing it himself. If you have had another baby the toddler may 'go backwards' for a short time in his efforts to toilet himself. If he seems slower than other children you know, DON'T PANIC, but if there is tension between you over the issue, get support and advice from a health professional.

There may be a problem if the child:

does not yet interact with other children or with adults through play
is excessively aggressive or withdrawn from other children
plays in repetitious, stereotyped ways
is not climbing ladders or trees, standing or walking on their tiptoes, riding a tricycle skillfully and turning safely, standing on one foot for several seconds, and showing improving skills in ball games as well as other children of the same age
does not become toilet trained and reliably dry during the day by the end of this year
starts wetting again after becoming dry during the day
still speaks unclearly or is not talking in sentences
is unable to follow verbal instructions
is not talking during play

Remember

Each child is unique and develops at their own special rate. Although all children go through more or less the same stages, they do it in different ways. Some will learn one new skill very quickly and seem slower at another. Some will seem to stand still with one area of development while they are concentrating on something else. What is important is not how a child compares with others or with a standard for her age, but that she is moving forward at her own pace and that she is well and happy. Providing a caring, encouraging environment with opportunities to explore and try things is the best way for parents/caregivers to provide the best development opportunities for children.

To receive a certificate of training hours you must complete a quiz based on the material above. You are required to get all questions correct. If you do not get 100% on the quiz the first time, you may take it over again. The results of the quiz will be emailed to Mid Michigan Child Care Food Program. When we receive the results of your quiz, a certificate of training completed will pop up that you can print. A copy of the certificate will also be emailed to you.

Toddler Development Quiz